Some Things I Don’t Understand

1.  The Running Skirt

This is becoming increasingly popular and more and more seem to be popping up at each road race I do.  Why?  From my perspective, it’s wasteful and impractical.  There are shorts underneath so the extra flap is superfluous.  I’ve never found myself wanting running attire that limits my movement.  Maybe I’m weird in that respect.  And while I’m all for being feminine, I think I can deal with wearing pants/shorts for the hour or so I’m running.

2. Geometry 

Math is, admittedly, not my strongest subject.  I’m a world-class bullshitter with a talent for words (are you getting why I was a history major now?).  That being said, I like math.  Algebra and statistics make sense to me.  They can also be kinda relaxing.  Not so with geometry.  I just don’t get it.  I kinda hate it.  And I’ve yet to find a real-world application for it.  I’m sure they exist but I haven’t dusted of my protractor or compass since sophomore year of high school.

 

3.  Sausage

Sausage has the distinction of being the one item on this list that I don’t WANT to understand.  I don’t know what it is.  I don’t want to devote anytime to thinking about it.  I don’t get how sausage can exist in thousands of forms from many different animals, but I’m okay with that.  How sausage can be “home-made” is a mystery to me.  A mystery to be left unsolved.    I choose not to think about sausage and I definitely choose not to eat sausage.  

So go on, tell me what you don’t understand.  

What is the World Coming to?

I was just at McDonald’s.  No, I wasn’t eating there.  I wanted a fountain Coke, ok?  But that’s not the point.

THEY WERE OUT OF HAMBURGERS.  

McDonald’s.  150 Zillion Served.  No Hamburgers.  What?

Soapboxing from a Former Vegan

If you ever took a tour of BU in deciding whether to apply or go there, you were undoubtedly informed that BU LOVES their vegetarian and vegan students SO much that they actually provide vegan food options! The dining hall has a GREAT selection of TASTY veggie morsels and you can’t go to a school event without there being a plethora of meat-free options. Uh-huh.  In the wake of a week of BU-sponsored graduation events, I have two words. Bull. Shit.

But first, let’s talk about my on-campus days as a hardcore veg.  When you’re a vegetarian, the options aren’t so bad.  Boring perhaps, but I could choose from pasta, peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches, buttery vegetable side dishes, or hummus and spicy red pepper relish wraps.  My mom always told me I was crazy to complain about the food because all my omnivore friends raved about the astounding array of culinary choices.  As a health-conscious plant-eater, I admit I’m picky.  Sue me.  But then when I took out dairy, eggs, and honey, BU nearly killed me.  Seriously, when will they learn that a slab of baked tofu the size of my pinky does not constitute a meal?  If it weren’t for a microfridge stocked with soymilk, Morning Star Farms Buffalo Chik’n, and vegan cookies from Espresso Royale, I would have starved.

So then I moved off-campus and reintroduced dairy to my life and suddenly BU’s dining options didn’t seem so important.  Lately, however, I’ve found myself on-campus quite a bit.  First it was Beers with Professors.  The emphasis was the beer part, so I didn’t pay much mind to the food provided.  Then it was the CAS Senior Reception (cocktail attire required).  My companions and I are were too busy standing in line for our free booze to worry about food and we just stuffed our faces at Audubon after.  But then, yesterday brought the Senior Breakfast and that, my friends, was the last straw.

Senior Breakfast is the annual event where the graduating class assembles for the first time since matriculation to eat, find out who the commencement speaker is, and receive the Senior Gift, a cheaply- made item embossed with the BU logo.  I arrived early and found seats with Amelia and co. at beautifully-dressed round tables in Metcalf Hall.  Tablecloths?  Centerpieces? Multiple forks? BU, I really didn’t know you had it in you.  We feasted on fruit cups, orange juice (was that freshly squeezed??), and a bakery basket while Dean Elmore orated and President Brown explained why the Taco Bell in Warren had closed.  And then the food came out.  On individual plates with those things on top to keep the warmth in! Served by black-attired waitstaff!  Color me excited!

Boy, did breakfast look good.  There was an egg and asparagus quiche-type thing, roasted potatoes, and sausage.  Oh wait.  Sausage is my least favourite food in the world.  Veghead or not, I find sausage to be vom-inducing.  Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m the type of vegetarian who doesn’t eat food that’s been on a plate with meat.  Sorry if you think that’s annoying, but that’s how I am.  And I’m still kinda weirded  out by eggs.  They’re not really dairy, they’re undeveloped animals.  I mean, I’ll eat them…if they’re disguised.  But nope, this breakfast wasn’t happening for me.  

The girl sitting next to me has an egg allergy and she asked our waiter if there was another option.  He told her there was and it was vegan.  Woot!  Maybe I’d get to eat after all.  I waited and waited for my food, imagining what they’d serve me.  That asparagus looked yummy.  The potatoes might be kinda good.  And I love fake meat. Asparagus, potatoes, and fake bacon…I’d dig it.  Finally, le garcon reappeared with…this

What is it?  Pineapple, cantaloupe, and honeydew garnished with five blueberries and a strawberry.  So basically the fruit cup we’d eaten earlier minus some fruit.  And cut up and arranged nicely on a plate.  As one of my vegan coworkers said, that’s not a meal, it’s a part of a balanced diet.  Now I can only imagine I received this delectable fruit plate because they ran out of the actual vegan breakfast, which I discovered later was a bowl of Special K.  Plain.   At least mine had anti-oxidents!  

After finishing my fruit and with the knowledge that Larry Lucchino would give the commencement address, I picked up my Boston University portfolio (to carry my resume in to my nonexistent job interviews?) and left.  I’m proud that I graduated from a school the recognises that that meat-free people do exist.  I just with they would give us a little protein.