This is Going to be a Gross One…

I apologise in advance but this has been on my mind lately and I just had to share.

I like the environment.  I really do.  I believe in walking and biking, using energy-saving light bulbs, and eschewing plastic bags. Whenever someone comes up with a new way to save the environment, my response is “Great! Let’s do it.”  

But.

But.

Apparently, there are limits to how much environmentalism I can stomach.  I’m talking, of course, about the Keeper. *I do not recommend clicking on this link if you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours.  Or if you ever want to feel hungry again.

The Keeper.  An environmentally-friendly tampon-alternative.  Really?  

The Keeper first appeared on my radar a few years ago when a friend-of-a-friend added the Keeper to their facebook interests.  Not knowing what it was, said friend told me to google image search it.  I did and we had a good chuckle about this thing:

The whole thing became much funnier when said friend explained that friend-of-friend had added it to their interests because a mutual acquaintance of all of us was “going through an environmental phase” and was using the Keeper.  Since I was not in the mood to vomit, I pretty much forgot about the whole incident (although I will say that I had a hard time looking at that acquaintance with a straight face the next time I saw her).

So a few years later, alternative menstrual products came up in casual conversation.  Mockingly, of course.  And then I got curious about the ol’ Keeper cause I remembered it had given me a good laugh.  So I google searched it again and my eyes were opened the vast world of period products.  And oh how I wish they were still closed.  

For those who are interested, you can choose between the Keeper, the MoonCup (think about that name), or the DivaCup.  You can find reusable pads or (my favourite) the Lunapanties, an “all-in-one deluxe period panty.”  Which is awesome because I’m so frustrated with my all-in-one BASIC period panty (?).  Also available is the ultra low-tech birth control method called Cycle Beads.  For $15.95, you’ll receive:

a string of colored beads that represent each day of a woman’s menstrual cycle. They are a simple tool that clearly shows where you are in your cycle. They tell you whether or not you are likely to get pregnant that day. Cycle Beads are based on the Standard Days Method of family planning. Studies have shown that this method is more than 95% effective when used correctly. Cycle Beads are for women who want a natural, effective, inexpensive approach to family planning with no side effects, and have regular menstrual cycles between 26 and 32 days long. Cycle Beads come with complete, easy instructions.

Did you see that? 95% effective!  Why use anything else?

Clearly all this “alternative” mumbojumbo is lost on me.  Rather than being swayed by this image,

I’m horrified about the idea of a 10 year old period cup.  Oh Holy Mother of God, please help us.  

I’m also ridiculously disturbed by the application instructions.

Umm, no comment.

So basically, when it comes down to it, I’m not so environmentally-friendly.  If being green means sticking latex cups in your cooch, I say PAVE THE RAINFOREST, BABY.

Some Things I Don’t Understand

1.  The Running Skirt

This is becoming increasingly popular and more and more seem to be popping up at each road race I do.  Why?  From my perspective, it’s wasteful and impractical.  There are shorts underneath so the extra flap is superfluous.  I’ve never found myself wanting running attire that limits my movement.  Maybe I’m weird in that respect.  And while I’m all for being feminine, I think I can deal with wearing pants/shorts for the hour or so I’m running.

2. Geometry 

Math is, admittedly, not my strongest subject.  I’m a world-class bullshitter with a talent for words (are you getting why I was a history major now?).  That being said, I like math.  Algebra and statistics make sense to me.  They can also be kinda relaxing.  Not so with geometry.  I just don’t get it.  I kinda hate it.  And I’ve yet to find a real-world application for it.  I’m sure they exist but I haven’t dusted of my protractor or compass since sophomore year of high school.

 

3.  Sausage

Sausage has the distinction of being the one item on this list that I don’t WANT to understand.  I don’t know what it is.  I don’t want to devote anytime to thinking about it.  I don’t get how sausage can exist in thousands of forms from many different animals, but I’m okay with that.  How sausage can be “home-made” is a mystery to me.  A mystery to be left unsolved.    I choose not to think about sausage and I definitely choose not to eat sausage.  

So go on, tell me what you don’t understand.  

An Ode to the 10k

So I’m back from beautiful California and just wanted to take a minute to express my love for the 6.2-mile distance.  Less than 24 hours after landing in Californi-i-a, I embarked on a very memorable run through the mean streets of Santa Cruz.  In freezing cold temperatures, Sarah (sister), Emily (sister), Sam (sister’s boyfriend), and I conquered the 36th running of the famed Wharf-to-Wharf 10k.  

But let’s back up a bit.  Seven months ago, I was visiting California for the first time with my dear friend Dasha.  Her aunt and uncle took us on a driving tour of Santa Cruz, pointing out the hot spots like the boardwalk and the surf museum.   They also mentioned that a beach party-like run takes place there every July.  As a recent college graduate with not much going on my life, I joked that maybe I’d take up running and come back for the race.  The day I got back to Boston, I bought some Asics and bookmarked the Couch-to-5k-Plan.  I set out running and haven’t looked back.

Six months, two road races, and hundreds of miles pounding the pavement later, I completed the race that inspired me to start running in the first place.  And yet, I almost missed the significance of the Wharf-to-Wharf.  Smack in the middle of my racing season, I started seeing the 10k as just a stop on the way to Falmouth and the B.A.A. Half-Marathon.  My miserable days as a high school track not-so-much-star were forgotten.  I’d gotten so accustomed to running that I glossed over the fact that just six months ago I considered those who enjoyed running to be crazy-folk.  But all it took was an early morning run along the ocean to bring me back to my senses.  The 10k in general and Wharf-to-Wharf in particular freakin rock.  And here’s why.

-The 10k is twice the distance of the 5k (duh), which is perhaps the most egalitarian distance in running.  6.2 miles is a respectable distance and feels like an accomplishment, yet still retains the welcoming attitude of the 5k and attracts lots of less-than-elite runners.  This makes the crowd you run with diverse and entertaining.  Running with Elvis, 5 year olds, AND competitive Kenyans?  Sure, I’ll do it.

-As if the scenery and 15,000 other runners weren’t inspiring enough, the Wharf-to-Wharf course is dotted with 50 bands, spectators with cowbells, and a beach-party atmosphere.  A balloon arch at each mile?  Nice touch guys.  It makes every mile feel like an accomplishment and helps propel runners to a speedy finish.

-The 10k requires a certain measure of training and takes up the better part of one’s race-day morning.  BUT it doesn’t sap all of one’s energy and leaves the rest of the day to enjoy burritos at El Palomar and take a scenic tour of Route 1 while winding one’s way up to San Francisco for vacation.  It may also leave energy for a marathon-like eating tour of Northern California and a bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge later in the week.  

All in all, the Wharf-to-Wharf is a damn good way to start off a vacation.  I’m sensing a new tradition.  Who’s with me?