Lessons Learned from the ER
June 14, 2008
-One never ends up in the ER when they have freshly-shaven legs, smell nice, or look good. Every doctor, nurse, and tech in the place, however, did see my nicely-matching green-with-blue-polka-dots bra and underwear. But then again, as a retired bra specialist, I ALWAYS have nice undergarments on.
-Going to the ER alone, when every one of your friends is legitimately out of the area and your one family member close by is sick, can be scary. It can also be empowering. Hell yes, I survived the BIDMC ER BY MYSELF. I’m tough. Don’t mess with me.
-No one in the ER is in good shape, but it always helps to see people in worse shape than you. Also, many are crazier than you and you win points with the staff for being polite. The award for craziest probably goes to the man who walked in, looking totally fine, immediately began complaining about wait times, then called other ERs to find out if they could see him sooner. This genius decided to drive cross-town to Mass General in hopes of cutting down his time in the ER. Little did he know Beth Israel was actually pretty speedy last night. What a tool.
-IVs suck. The getting the IV part is fine, but having a plastic thing in your arm really does hurt. You’re also tethered to one spot and can’t easily move to pick up your phone, glasses, and book that you knocked on the floor, thus eliminating all means of entertainment and communication with the outside world.
-When the health professionals tell you the drugs may knock you out, they ain’t kidding. I don’t normally fall into a deep, 13 hour sleep and have dreams about my great-aunt eating a whole pig.
-It’s amazing your reaction upon waking from above-mentioned medically-induced sleep. I woke up with my hospital bracelet on, bandages aplenty, and nicely decorated with my EKG stickers, not knowing where I was but utterly convinced I had to go to work.
-Spending a friday night alone in the ER is not exactly fun but it’s worth it when you end up with the knowledge that you are not, in fact, dying.
